social anxiety

When Anxiety Makes Celebrating a Chore, Six Tips to Survive the Party

Parents were picking up kids, and I was handing out little baggies of goodies to each bouncing boy headed out the door. We had filled their systems with all forms of sugar from liquid-grown-in-fields to powdered-and-whipped. We had celebrated our bright-eyed boy’s turning of eight, complete with a hand-drawn ten-foot Godzilla adorning the wall, a back porch covered in yellow, blue, orange, and green silly string, and a cake that featured gummy army men plotting the takedown of a plastic Godzilla. I felt two feelings battling inside me, dark and light. On one hand, I felt proud we had celebrated well, even with while keeping the newly adopted two-year-old happy and feeling safe with all the buzzing, busy boys in our house. It felt good to feel like celebrating and celebrate well. On the other hand, I felt the presence of my anxiety.

IMG_8206.JPG

May and June are full of big days for our family: four birthdays, Mother’s Day, wedding anniversary, and Father’s Day. Last year during this time, we were in the middle of a very uncertain international adoption, and I didn’t feel like celebrating a darn thing. I was treading water emotionally. We even had a bonus special day thrown in last year because our oldest graduated high school. One more party to plan in between crying and mental nail-biting. My grief and anxiety would not be put away; It demanded to be seen and acknowledged. What I’ve realized this year is that even without the stress of our adoption and graduation, my anxiety still makes it hard for me to celebrate. 

ACS_0109.JPG

Celebrating is worth fighting for. It is worth it because I love my family. We must celebrate because celebrating brings joy, and joy is our strength. 

 

Here’s how to survive when the calendar demands celebration:

1. Don’t shame yourself at any point in this process.

Thoughts like, what’s wrong with me that I can’t be happy about a birthday party? are not helpful or kind to yourself. If you are wrestling temporary stress in your life or you are dealing with the realities of living with anxiety, you must allow yourself the room to feel what you really feel, and you cannot have shame because you have those feelings.

2. Set up good boundaries in your celebrating.

You don’t have to be hype for a week over the big day. You don’t even have to be partying for more than a few hours. The point is to take a chunk of time and celebrate something for the sake of celebration. Set aside your grief, anxiety, or stress-inducing problem for just a few hours and give this important person, place, or thing in your life its due festivity. When it is over, you will still have your issues you are struggling through there waiting for you.

3. Invite people who have proven themselves as safe people.

Someone who will bring you flowers on a bad day is the perfect person to invite to your good day. Someone who refuses to acknowledge you are struggling during hard times isn’t going to truly celebrate your good days either. They may pretend to celebrate with you, but if they don’t engage in your whole life as a person, good and bad, they aren't genuinely rooting for you or the success of your life. You have permission to only invite who you need and want to invite. It is perfectly ok to only allow people who are genuine and kind into those big celebratory moments of your life.

4. Do not overdo it on your party planning.

Don’t demand perfection from your party. Keep things as chill as possible. The icing might run, the wrapping paper might rip, or you might forget the cups. Something will go wrong. If you have unreasonable expectations for the big day, you are setting yourself up for a meltdown.

5. Schedule time to recover after the party.

Your energy level is going to be depleted. Plan for that. Don’t plan to hop from a time of celebration to something else that would demand your energy. You will probably have feelings about the day or interactions with people at the celebration. Plan a quiet morning the next day to reflect and recover. It may even take two or three days to recover from a party. Don’t beat yourself up if that happens. Remember, no shaming yourself!

6. Give yourself credit.

When the celebration comes to a close, don’t allow your anxiety to rob you of that moment of congratulating yourself for celebrating well. You honored the moment and didn’t allow your anxiety to steal your joy. You celebrated (not perfect) well.

Your life deserves wonder, fun, the satisfaction of accomplishment, and delight, even as you contend with your anxiety. May these tips help you celebrate and bring more joy to your life as you deal that anxiety.

The wonderful thing about joy is that it is deep enough to hold all the light and dark that your soul can hold, and as you allow joy to enter into that space in your soul that was made to hold it, your body, mind, and heart will be strengthened for the good days and bad.

Day 21: Reputation

Paper Tigers & Impressing God

A Write 31 Days Series

I have a really bad habit that I am trying to break.  My bad habit is caring what others think of me.

This sentence from The Message version of the Bible is the pivotal sentence that began this series.

My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God.
— Galatians 2:20 The Message

How much of my life has been spent trying to have the good opinion of others?  Almost all of it.  I wanted my mom, dad, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins’ good opinions.  I wanted teachers’ good opinions.  I wanted friends’ good opinions.  I wanted pastors’ and youth pastors’ good opinions.  I wanted college professors’ good opinions.

If I am honest it was the most important thing to me growing up.

As a young mom, I would do anything to have the good opinion of other moms I met in our home school play and learning groups.

I had a tendency to have conversations that were just back and forth agreements of something we both thought was good or bad.

“We don’t let the kids watch THAT show either.”

“Oh, I would never give my kids that to eat either.”

“Yes.  We do that too.”

I wanted their good opinion, and I didn’t realize how much I was making my acceptable behavior become my focus.

My ego, or my sense of self-worth, was wrapped up in how good I could appear.  If it sounded like I had done something my friends might not approve of, I was sure to throw disclaimers and corrections around like I was afraid of losing an important job.

“Oh.  We didn’t KNOW it was going to have all that cursing in it when we watched it.  I wouldn’t watch it again.”

“We did this, but we didn’t do THAT.”

When I was getting my self-worth from my behavior, I was negating what Jesus did to bring me the best self-worth ever, righteousness through the grace of God.  Being right with God is the best self-worth, and Jesus died to give it to me.

So whenever some shade of “unacceptable in some people’s eyes” or iffy behavior gets thrown my way, I no longer duck and run for cover under my disclaimers and corrections.

It isn’t about me.

It is about Jesus and what He has done.

Let people think whatever they would like about me.  What is important to me is that they have a correct view of Jesus.  Am I working as hard to make sure everyone I encounter knows who Jesus truly is?

Living a life that is worried most about appearing good and following rules can actually do huge detriment to your relationship with Christ.

I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.
— Galatians 5:4-6 The Message

God knows our failings, our actual failings, not just perceived missteps.  When we live a life trying to obey “fence laws” and not worried about our real relationship with Christ, we can lose sight of His grace and mercy.  We can slowly lose our grip on faith, as we hold so strongly onto our reputation.  We can lose sight of loving others, as we practice judging ourselves and others by actions and perceived actions.

Actually trying not to sin and obeying God are two things we should do as Christians.  Those things are a big part of your one-on-one relationship with God.  You take those things to Him in daily prayer, knowing that we have already been made right with God, then that relationship will be more satisfying than any earthly relationship could be.

Give up trying to gain approval from others.

Live in the freedom and self-worth that Christ offers.

 

Click to return to series table of contents.

I like to include a song with each blog post.  I wanted to include a certain Joan Jett song here, but I'll be nice.  This song actually is really fitting.  Trying hard is just like a black hole.

Day 4: People Pleasing

Paper Tigers & Impressing God

A Write 31 Day Series

Day 2 I shared a story that illustrated how much I wanted to have my dad’s approval.  I wouldn’t be being honest with you if I didn’t share how that trying to gain approval stretches to almost every other person I’ve encountered in my life.

If fact, it might be easier to name off the small list of people that I haven’t tried to gain approval from than to tell you who I have.  

I want everyone to like me.  Period.

I think this might be why I love blogging so much.  I can be much more honest here in words than I could ever be face to face.  In person, I am always reading cues and trying to say the right thing.

There is this Bob Dylan song that says, “Half of the people can be part right all of the time, Some of the people can be all right part of the time, But all of the people can’t be all right all of the time, I think Abraham Lincoln said that.”

In my mind, remembering the song, I had changed the quote to say, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time,” and many people credit that quote to Abraham Lincoln as well.  As I searched the lyric, I realized I had it wrong in my head.

This isn’t how the song goes, but my obsession with people pleasing has warped my brain.

It gets tricker.  Abraham Lincoln never said either of those things.  He’s also been credited as saying, “You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time,” but according to a website called quote investigator, he didn’t say that one either.  A frenchman named Jacques Abbadie actually said it.

All of these quotes make my palms sweaty because I want everything to be right, all of us to agree, and everyone be pleased with me on every level.

I walk around in a constant state of, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

How can I not treat God the same way I treat everyone else?  How can I refrain from looking to the Heavens and thinking, “Please don’t be mad at me.  Please like me.”

I can give you the Sunday school answer that I know God loves me.  We could sing it in our sleep.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

But I know my brain.  I know the ugly, selfish thoughts that scroll through on a whim.  I know the toxic thoughts that I stop, handle, hang onto, and ponder.

 

How could God like me if He knows me thoughts?

How could God love me if He has searched my heart?

How is God not mad at me?

 

So I go out of my way to be nice to everyone, even people who have treated me like garbage.  That is what we are to do, right?  Love your enemies, the golden rule, and such, they demand this nice behavior.

If I’m nice, they will like me.  My mom told me that.

Is it possible to be nice to God?  Is that a thing.  I think it is, and I think I have been doing it most of my life.  I have to get God to like me.  I have to make his nice list.

What does this accomplish?  Not only is this the basis of a shallow relationship with God, it negates what Christ did on the cross for me.  Thinking that I can just be nice and good is the opposite of repentance.  If you want to see if good works can impress God, just look at Cain’s offering to the Lord.  Genesis 4 says that Cain and his offering had no regard.  Cain had worked hard to grow that offering of fruit of the ground, but trying hard to please God only lead to bitterness and anger in Cain’s heart.

I could get all judgmental towards Cain, but I have done this.  I have tried to impress God with my good works, and then I have been bitter and angry when he didn’t pat me on the back and high five me.

Letting go of my people pleasing ways is tough.  I’m holding on with white knuckles, afraid to let go.  Letting go of my God pleasing ways is even harder.  Lord, give me the strength to do both.

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a ‘law man’ so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not ‘mine,’ but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
— Galatians 2:19-20 The Message

Click to return to series table of contents.

 

 

Here's that song I was talking about, since I like to share a song with each blog post.  I like his sense of humor.

Outsider

Yesterday I glanced out of my kitchen window and saw a bicycle ride by.  It was Michael.  He always has a boyish appearance, with a bright baseball cap and torn jeans.  Getting to know him, I’ve learned that he isn’t a young guy, in fact, he has an adult son.

Michael is one of the many homeless that have become a fixture of our downtown church location since beginning our ministry at Citychurch.  He even worked in our church’s kitchen for a period of time, but it was short-lived since he was let go because of thievery.

I have two thoughts as I see Michael ride past my house.

One, I feel thankful that I live on a street where people we encounter, try to love, in our ministry downtown would ride past my home.

Two, I wonder about Michael’s son.  The last time I talked to Michael, in the middle of this summer while I was in the neighborhood delivering lunches to kids, Michael’s son was enrolling for college.  I wonder how his son is doing in college.  I wonder how he feels having a bike-riding, panhandling, homeless dad.  I wonder if it makes him driven to become something, ashamed, or both.  I wonder how I would feel if my dad was homeless.

This week has been hard for me.  My husband has been out of town, and he makes home feel like home.  He makes church feel like our church.  I’ve felt very unconnected to the people around me.  I’ve felt like my heart is homeless.

I am trying to be thankful for this feeling.  I am trying to be thankful for the reminder that this world isn’t my home.

I’ve felt like an outsider this week, and that is what He calls us to be.  Jesus was our example.  Jesus was just as homeless as Michael.  Jesus lived as an outsider; he died as an outsider.  We love, do good, and share with the outsiders because He was an outsider and so are we.

So Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood. Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
— Hebrews 13:12-16 ESV

I would like to say that it is all very beautiful to feel like an outsider, and I’ve loved everyone so well because of this reminder.  I haven’t handled this week well at all.  I’ve pushed others away.  I’ve felt sorry for myself.  I’ve worried; I’ve wept.

Feeling like an outsider isn’t easy.

He promises to equip us.  I’m counting on that today.  I need it badly.

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
— Hebrews 13:20-21 ESV

Sometimes we need Jesus to equip us to just make it through a hard week or two, and sometimes we need Jesus to equip us to actually share with actual homeless men, women, and children.  I don’t want to overstate me and my homeless-feeling heart.  It is nothing compared to the trauma, hurt, and needs of people who don’t have a home at all.  Sitting in my lovely home, longing for the fulfillment that Heaven will some day bring would sound like such a luxury to many in my city and many more in the poverty of third world countries.

Let us strive to love the outsider, whether that outsider is a fellow human in need or that outsider is just us.

Let brotherly love continue.
— Hebrews 13:1 ESV

 

 

I like to share music on my blog.  Here's a song for you.  There's nothing wrong with an instrumental interlude now and then.

Guest blogging: Breaking Light

My sweet friend Anna Smit, who lives in The Netherlands, has a blog series going called Breaking Light. She invited me to be a part of her series, and I'd love for you to read it.  What I love about Anna is that she isn't afraid to talk about deep issues, and you'll not only find it in our post, you'll find it in her writing too.

Click here to read my interview with Anna.  We talk about community, deep valleys, my brother's death, and God's truth becoming real in your lives.  I'd love it if you'd leave a comment and let Anna know how much you appreciate her series.

Day 13: Target Friend

31 STORIES OF FAITH ADVENTURES

DAY 13:  TARGET FRIEND

You’re probably wondering what a Target friend is.  No, it’s not a friend that goes shopping at Target with you.  Although, if you’re interested in going to Target with me, I’d love to do that.  I’m a recovering Target addict.  I have to delete Target emails immediately from my inbox, or I’ll be triggered to go browse those red and white isles.

Let me tell you what Target friend is, it’s a term that I heard on a Periscope broadcast.  Here’s the definition of it from Urban Dictionary.

Can we just pause and agree how cool I am?  Periscope, sharing new slang with you, and defining terms from Urban Dictionary, can you just even?  (Reality check.  I’m sitting in my home school room typing this.  I have a hot glue gun on my desk and a kitchen piled high with dirty laundry that I’m going to push aside so that I can warm up a frozen chicken breast in my toaster oven for lunch today.  Steve Urkel lives a cooler life then I do.  Side note on this side note:  Did you see Jaleel White on the new car commercial for Scion?  I totally geeked out when I saw that.  Did I do that?  Ok.  Case proven on my uncoolness.)

Now I know that you are wondering what a target friend has to do with faith adventures.  Well, let me tell you.

Back when James and I had just begun our adoption journey, I made a friend target of my now actual friend Shelly Wilson.

Our adoption agency has a FaceBook group for families in the Ethiopia program.  I saw Shelly post something about speaking to her women’s group about her adoption story.  I was so excited when I saw someone from my hometown waiting to adopt from Ethiopia, I knew we had to be friends.

I recruited my mother-in-law to come to listen to Shelly talk at her church, a church I had never even set foot in.

This may not seem like a big deal, but it was a huge deal for me.  I was stepping out to make a new friend, and meeting new people is one of my least favorite things to do.

I have social anxiety, and interacting with people can cause my head to go crazy with insecurity, fears of rejection, and wacky thoughts about myself.

Putting all that aside and being aggressive about making friends with someone was a step of faith for me.

I realize now what I might have missed out on if I hadn’t made friends with Shelly.  Shelly was the one who passed along the invitation to join the adoption advocacy group In His Hands.  I’ve made lots of sweet friends in that group, and I’ve been able to help make a difference for orphans in Uganda with the fundraisers we’ve organized.  I also went on two mission trips to Ethiopia with Shelly through our adoption agency.  Those trips were so educational for me, grew my faith, and gave me a better awareness Ethiopian culture.  I’ve also had the joy of cheering on Shelly’s adoption, praying for her, and watching God move.  That alone has been a tremendous blessing to me.

     Van selfie with Shelly on our first trip to Ethiopia.

     Van selfie with Shelly on our first trip to Ethiopia.

     Shelly and I watching the children play on our second trip to Ethiopia.

     Shelly and I watching the children play on our second trip to Ethiopia.

    Our team getting ready to leave on our last day in Ethiopia, our second trip.

    Our team getting ready to leave on our last day in Ethiopia, our second trip.

That little step of faith, making a new friend, led to other faith adventures that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

What about you?  What simple step is God calling you to make today?  It may be connecting with someone new or even connecting to family member.  Jesus called us to servanthood and to friendship with Himself.  He was speaking to his disciples right after He was led into Jerusalem on a donkey, and He told them this.

If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.
— John 12:26 ESV

Almost week later, the night before He was crucified, Jesus told His disciples this.

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
— John 15:12-15 ESV

Jesus asks us to serve Him and love Him as a friend.  He also commands us to love one another.  And He also promises that God the Father will honor our service.

Stepping out to connect with others may not seem like important Kingdom work, but it is!  Loving one another is the greatest thing we can do here on earth.  Sometimes servanthood and friendship takes a lot of faith.  But luckily God supplies that faith measures.

Community & Anxiety

I’ve blogged about this before, but in case you missed it:  I have social anxiety.  I have a hard time being around people.

One of the biggest parts of social anxiety is feeling like everyone else is in a group that I’m not in.  In my head, when I let it go to that place, I decide that everyone likes everyone else, and that everyone else doesn’t like me.

I know it is silly.  Social anxiety doesn’t follow logic or allow logic.

Here’s the problem.  Christians need community.

I’m beginning to realize something.  My social anxiety exists because deep down I am longing for community.  I want to belong.  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have the anxiety.

Here’s the reason we need community.  Most evangelism and social justice work happens in groups.

As a Christian we are called to do a couple of things.  The first and most important is the great commission.  We are called to make disciples.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.
— Matthew 28:19-20 ESV

Gathering people to bring them into knowledge of Christ can look a lot of different ways.  Almost all of the opportunities I have to be evangelistic or to disciple young Christians have been in groups: Bible club, Sunday school, mission trips, summer bike lunch delivery, and church outreaches.

The other thing we are called to do as Christians is to job of social justice.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
— Micah 6:8 ESV

This season of my life, God has called me into orphan care ministries, and much of our work at my church, Citychurch, involves fatherless children.

All of this work has been done in community with my church and orphan care groups.  Even our adoption that is still in the waiting stages has involved many other Christians.  So many friends and family have prayed for us and participated in our fundraisers.

When I realize the importance community plays in the work of the Kingdom, no wonder Satan would love for me to be engulfed in anxiety.

The anxiety that I suffer when I interact with other people is a huge attack on The Church, His community.

I am convinced (because I get so much response when I talk about anxiety and because Brene Brown is a best selling author) that so many people suffer the same attacks that I do, causing them to draw away from community.

If you are one of those people, let me encourage you to see those thoughts for what they are, spiritual attacks, and inspire you to realize that doing the hard work of overcoming the anxiety is important to the Church.

It has been hard for me to recognize when thoughts during social anxiety are true or untrue, but learning how to separate those thoughts from truth and thoughts that are from the roaring lion who seeks to devour me is important to overcoming anxiety.

It is not easy, but find some wise council that can help you begin to disprove your anxiety driven thoughts.  Becoming a part of community will encourage your growth as a Christian, increase your dependence on God, and your effectiveness as an active part of the Church.

Remember these words in 1 John because it reminds us of the love God has for us each individually.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgement, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
— 1 John 4:16-18a ESV
I love music, so I like to include a song with every blog post.  Here's a beautiful song about a guy that doesn't quite fit in with others.  The thing I love about Andrew Bird is that he likes to make up his own words. Why not?

Anchor and hand off your load

The year I turned 31, I was in a funk.  My husband and I were transitioning where we were living, so we had moved into an apartment for 3 months.  I spent a lot of time in bed in that apartment.  I thought I was depressed so I started researching depression.  I read blogs, forums, and medical websites.  

I figured out something.  I didn’t have depression.  I had social anxiety.  Going out into the world seemed impossible because my brain was betraying me.  I would have wacky thoughts.  Here’s an example.  No one came over to talk to me right after church ended, so every lady in the church thinks I am annoying.  My voice must be like nails on a chalkboard to them.  The reality was, as I was too caught up in wacky, immature thinking to realize, that every lady in my church has a lot going on in their life.  They have babies or foster children or teenagers or money struggles or illness or other issues.

As I began to learn more about social anxiety, I decided I needed two kinds of help.  First, I went to the doctor and was put on the lowest dose possible of a anti-depressant.  Since I’m uncomfortable with taking medicine, also an anxiety issue, I started the medicine with the stipulation that it would only be for a short time.  I knew I needed a boost to get me looking at things in a more positive light, and I knew I needed to put my trust in the Lord.  Three months after starting the anti-depressants, I found out I was pregnant.  I was ready to stop taking the medicine.

The second way I needed help was figuring out how to recognize things that were true and things that were just plain false.  

I knew I needed to get my mind straight.  I needed to figure out how to live my life with social anxiety.  I needed to know that I could live the life God had called me to live without social anxiety holding me back from anything God called me to do. 

I found a journaling website that had you analyze your thoughts and thought process in social settings. It was a Godsend.  It wasn’t a Christian site, but what it asked me to do was actually something we are called to do as Christians.  Paul tells us to take our thoughts captive and interrogate them.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.
— 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV

When I had thoughts that were negative about myself, those thoughts were not honoring the God who made me.  Those thoughts did not honor the Savior who died for me or the Holy Spirit who dwells in me and makes me His temple.  

The reason I am sharing about my social anxiety is because I know you’ve got something in your life that can either be a weight that anchors you to your chair or anchors you to The Lord.  

Jesus is our forerunner.  Hebrews 6:20 tells us so.  Back in Roman times, when boats would come into a port to dock during a storm, they would send the small anchor boat ahead to make sure the boat could be docked into the harbor.  Jesus has done that for us.  He died for us, was rose again, and He is there docked in Heaven.  We can choose to anchor to Him or remain in the storm.  

If you’ve anchored to Him, it is finished.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a big something weighing you down.  God doesn’t want you to carry that load.  Cast all your cares on Him.  He can handle it.  How do I know that He can handle it?  I’ve tested Him.  There’s no weight limit with God.  There is no too hard or too complicated for God.  

For me my social anxiety was my big something.  Trying to carry it on my own ended me up in bed, blinded to the woman God made me to be.  I couldn’t see past my nose.  Giving that big something to God was not an easy thing for me to do.  It was a process.  I had to learn to think differently.  I still have to remind myself to think differently.  I had to learn to lean on Him.  But as I did, I could see places and go places that I could never have dreamed.

Love me some Jr. Jr.  They are one of my favs.  This song is one of those short ones at the end of the album.  Kind of like a bonus, but aren't the lyrics genius?