Day 14: Questions

Paper Tigers & Impressing God

A Write 31 Days Series

Yesterday I talked about a moment I remember coming to the end of myself when God let me get all tired out.  That moment, that night before the women’s event I had helped organize, brought up so many questions, both in the moment and as I am remembering it.

Was that feeling a spiritual attack?  Was it the devil trying to discourage me?

I don’t always know when I am in the middle of a spiritual attack, but it is usually very clear afterward.  Afterward I can see the lies the enemy has thrown at me, and I can see the lies I mistakenly believed.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
— Ephesians 6:12 ESV
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
— 1 Peter 5:8 ESV

Spiritual attacks are real, but I don’t think that night was a spiritual attack.  There was harmony and peace in my home.  My husband was right beside me, encouraging me and offering to help.

Why are some things “successful” and other things are “not”?

We ended up having a little more than a hundred women register and attend our event.  That might sound awesome on its own, but the year before, we had attendance of 500.  Was this event less successful?  Had God blessed our efforts the year before and chosen not to bless our efforts the next year?

What do we do when we are sure we are following God’s call, but our efforts don’t seem successful?  We trust God.  We look at how we are defining success, because maybe we are doing it wrong.  Numbers is an awful way to gauge anything.  (I have an accounting degree, and that sentence will never feel true, but it is truth.)

We serve a Shepherd that leaves the 99 to seek after the one.  He died one death, and He would have done that work for just one soul.

We will never know why God may ask us to do something that might have low numbers or look insignificant.

I emailed a group of women who had participated to ask about their experience.  I was blown away by their stories.  God definitely moved that weekend, despite my feeling insignificant or unsuccessful.

Not all of my questions in the ministry always feel answered.  It is a struggle as I serve.  Not all of your questions will feel answered either.

He asks us to come along and serve, join Him in what He is doing here on Earth.  To do that, we must have faith.  When we have faith, we aren’t promised easy answers, rested nights, and worldly success.

We are promised that He will never leave us and never forsake us.

That’s just going to need to be enough.

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
— Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV



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