Day 10: Big Mistake Testimonies

Paper Tigers & Impressing God

A Write 31 Days Series

My testimony isn’t full of big, bad mistakes.  I surrendered my life to the Lord at 12 years of age.  I came to know Him at such a young age, God spared me from some real hurts and consequences of sins.

I became a Christian, and my good-girl-ness transferred into wanting to do the Jesus following right.  I wanted to know and follow all the rules.

At youth-group age, the church parades every evangelist with a rough past in front of you.  “If they can rip a phone book and tell about their past, we need those guys to speak to our kids.”

As a good girl, I began to think my testimony was sup-par, but I was too good to sew any wild seeds to beef it up.

As an adult, I wonder if the Christians who came to God with a rap sheet list of THOSE sins had an easier time not feeling like they have to work hard to earn God’s approval.  Are they like the woman who poured out her perfume on Jesus?  Do they love Jesus more?

One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and reclined at table.  And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, ‘If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.’ And Jesus answering said to him, ‘Simon, I have something to say to you.’ And he answered, ‘Say it, Teacher.’
‘A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?’ Simon answered, ‘The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.’ And he said to him, ‘You have judged rightly.’  Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.’  And he said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’  Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, ‘Who is this, who even forgives sins?’  And he said to the woman, ‘Your faith has saved you; go in peace.’
— Luke 7:36-50 ESV

I read this story and I wonder why I can’t really relate to the woman. 

I am much more likely to relate to the Pharisee.  I would invite Jesus over for dinner.  I would feel awkward if a woman crashed my dinner party and poured perfume on my guest’s feet.

 

Does this mean I love Jesus less?

Does this mean I need to get my heart right with God?

 

I know we say in church that we need to not dwell on our past sins.  It is true that God erases those babies.  He ties them with rocks and drops them into the deep dark sea, not to bring them up again.

In church we say that if they are brought to our mind, it is the devil trying to shame us.  It is probably true.

I read this story, and I wonder if maybe I DO need to be reminded of my sins.  I get so caught up in the good that I am doing for Him, and I am constantly reminded, by the world around me, of all the sins I’m not committing.

I start to think of myself as good.  That isn’t wrong.  But good turns into holy in my mind, and that is wrong.

I don’t need to dwell hard to pull up one pretty awful sin from my recent thought life.  I pull it to the front of my brain.

Go ahead, you can do that too.

That sin might be minor in the scope of life going on around us.  It might even be minor in our life.

The thing is that sin, that thought you had, is toxic.  It is poison.  It is harmful to you and everyone around you.  It has stained your whole fabric of being, and you aren’t even a little bit holy after just that one thought.

Let’s picture that sin as a Pokemon card.  (According to my Christian friends, those are pretty evil.  I think it will do the trick.)

Now picture handing that evil, toxic, poisonous thought personified as a card to Jesus.

What does He do with it?

He dies a horrific death to nullify it.

How grateful are we?

I think even the best good girls (and guys) can get grateful when we feel the grace and mercy that Jesus has to offer.

 

 

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I like to include a song with each blog post.  Here you go.