My biggest sin

***I wrote this for the IF:Amarillo blog a few weeks ago. I thought I would post it here. Only 4 more days until we will gather for IF:Amarillo!***

I’ll start out by telling you that I’m a goody, goody. (Do you remember being called that? Or calling someone that? I don’t think kids say that anymore, but they did back in the day.)

I got saved when I was 12, and I don’t have one of those “wild seed” testimonies. Sometimes I’m even jealous of those of you who do.

There’s no smoking, drinking, or drugs in my past. Both of my grandfather’s were abusive alcoholics. So I sore off drinking even before I was even a Christian. After my life progressed into a life of ministry at Citychurch ministering to kids and teens, drinking just didn’t fit the ministry God gave me. No judgement. I just don’t.

I married the first guy I dated. Even more goody, goody, I married a home schooler. Our pre-married dating was not Duggar-extreme, but it wasn’t far off.

I could keep playing “I’ve never” game longer, but I’ll get to the “I’ve.”


Worry has been the biggest struggle for my in my sin life from day one. It’s my fleshly goto response to almost any situation, good or bad. (That’s right. I can even worry about good news.)

Here’s the thing about worry. It’s a big sin. Definitely bigger than all those “big” sins this goody, goody girl avoided.

When I worry, I’m telling God that I don’t believe He can handle my problems. When I worry, I am living like an atheist would live. I’m breaking God’s first commandments about worshiping Him and only Him.

So what does this have to do with IF? A lot.

Let’s plan an event for 500 women. My response, 500 worries pop in my head.

So let me take you back to the Jan. 4th IF:Amarillo Leadership meeting. How many women do we have signed up? About 38. Has anyone donated money? No.

Bam. Worry overload.

It’s been about a week since that meeting, and God is moving. Women are responding. We have a little money in the bank.

You would think it would be easy not to worry now. The tides are turning. But I’m good at worry.

I’ve learned that I have to physically, mentally, and spiritually decide not to worry. I have to stop myself as soon as it starts and make my brain head in the other direction.

It’s like a Christian guy faced with a Victoria Secret ad. If they are doing the right thing, they’re going to stop and flee like Joseph.

Worry is the mistress I have to flee from.

Do you have something you are worried about? It’s not easy to stop and flee those thoughts. God will reward you for trusting him. He loves giving us Faith. He has an endless supply to handout to us every time we need to trust Him.

Faith is the antidote to worry. Fortunately for us, Faith is the exact thing we will be learning more about at this year’s IF:Gathering. All of the IF sessions will center around the life of Joshua and his incredible faith in God’s promises. You won’t want to miss it.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” I Peter 5:6-9 ESV

File this song under "world's most popular artist that you've probably never heard of."  James made me watch a whole documentary about the Swedish House Mafia selling out festival size concerts all over the world.  I still don't understand the extent of mass appeal this band has, but the song is pretty catchy.